Need gift ideas for a maiden?

Our Resource List of YLCF's favorite titles for young ladies is a great way to find a gift for a friend or relative. The listing is divided by age and includes beloved classics as well as lesser-known titles by homeschool graduates and young mothers. Compiling this listing became part of my research for Pearl of Beauty and I wanted it available to anyone, not just those who purchase the book.

If I had to choose a favorite from each category, it would have to be Tales of the Kingdom or The Princess and the Kiss, Stepping Heavenward, and Hinds Feet on High Places.

P.S. Gretchen has an update to share with you just as soon as Blogger will cooperate and let me share the pictures!

The power of a story

Lanier is going to be busy so we will be missing her sweet presence around YLCF the next few weeks. In the meantime I decided to share an excerpt from the beautiful Introduction she wrote for Pearl of Beauty. Mayhap it will whet your appetite.

P.S. The book is being printed this coming week and I should be receiving and shipping orders by May 12th!

I love that Jesus taught in stories. That has always given a lift to my writer’s heart, has always made the effort of putting pen to paper seem so worthwhile. In His parables He comprehended the fact that we are a story-loving lot, that tales of the just and the unjust are a universal language that people of every time and place can easily relate to. The power of the narrative often holds the key to the heart where sermon and lecture cannot yet gain admittance. It’s not a question of superiority, as much as simplicity: the simplicity of the children Jesus loved and drew near to Himself; the simplicity of the tales themselves, and of the trusting, inquisitive heart required to comprehend them.

The Bible is the greatest storybook of all time. It is the source and home of all earthly romance. It is the splendid and essential Reality from which the fairy tales draw their expressions of beauty and truth and goodness. It is Love itself, embodied in words that we can understand. When God wanted to teach mankind, He gave us stories—true stories—about men and women who had experienced Him. When He wanted to redeem mankind, He sent His own Son, the True Word, the living chronicle of His heart’s devotion.

In this same image, writers throughout the ages have tapped into this universal vein of humanity, this love of the tale, to give utterance to the mysteries of life: the glories and triumphs, the beauties and agonies, the inexplicable and unknowable. The great writers have given us glimpses of heaven. The greatest have taken us by the hand and shown us the way in.

The interesting thing about the various tales in this volume is that, while written in a different age altogether, not one of them is backward. An Old-Fashioned Girl describes frills and finery that are obsolete and perhaps even amusing to our jean-clad culture; Hidden Pearls warns against social dangers that may seem completely harmless to the girl of today, beset with much more insidious perils on every side than dancing and jazz music. But the message of each of these winsome vignettes is truly timeless. There is not one girl who could not be challenged by Polly’s willingness to stand alone, or by Marcia’s sacrifice to keep herself pure for her wedding day.

May you dare to experience the sweetness of a truly beautiful girlhood, and move with happy confidence towards a womanhood crowned with all the blessings God can bestow upon a faithful heart.

- from Pearl of Beauty: Becoming Maidens of Purity

The Magic Garden (excerpt from PEARL of BEAUTY)

Below is a brief excerpt from Pearl of Beauty: Becoming Maidens of Purity. To read more, go here.

So Amaryllis went home, and for several more years she went straight ahead studying her own lessons, keeping her father’s house, being the very light of her father’s eyes.

Those were years when Amaryllis really grew. She was getting to be a woman now, very close to eighteen. She had grown to a woman’s size. She had grown to a woman’s mental stature, and she had grown to beauty so much greater than any beauty that could be seen in girls around her that she shone out as one star brighter than all the rest shines in the heavens, because she belonged to John Guido.

She had kept herself for him alone. In races she had ridden. She could sail a boat and she could swim, but there was not a boy living who had dared lay his hands familiarly upon her. To herself she was a sacred thing. She was set apart.

When she went to John Guido and said, “I have come back to you,” as she had promised, she must go with lips that no other boy’s kisses had touched. She must go with ears that had not been sullied with vulgarity. She must go as God intended that every woman should go to the man she loves. She must go untouched by other men, unsullied, absolutely clean. And deep in her heart, Amaryllis knew that as she was planning to go to John Guido, he was coming to her.

Study Questions:

1. There is a beautiful contrast in this story between selfishness and selfless love. Where John Guido and Amaryllis could have pursued their love for each other much earlier, instead they waited until the proper time. Both worked diligently at the tasks before them.
2. “I have not gone with the crowd. I have waited apart. I have kept myself something sacred, something holy, waiting for you.” Do you desire to be able to say this to your husband on your wedding day? Could a bride give her beloved anything more beautiful? Never!
3. Does this story leave you feeling happy, sad, or a little of both? Why?

Ideas and Activities

• Nearly every maiden loves the beauty of flowers. With your parents’ help, list the young ladies you would like to encourage. Leave a single bloom or a small bouquet of flowers at each home, secretly if possible.
• Accountability partner: Try memorizing verses each week, reviewing and studying during your daily devotions.
• Take full advantage of your maiden years to grow in beauty, knowledge and skill. Do not allow the time to slip through your fingers; redeem the days by setting practical, measurable goals towards developing in weak areas. This includes schoolwork, Bible study, ministries, and relationships—particularly with your family.

Note: Pre-ordering for Pearl of Beauty will end on April 25. After this date the price will go up to the regular retail of $10.99.

Pre-order Pearl of Beauty

We are excited to welcome a new addition to our purity fiction books at HeartThoughts! Pearl of Beauty will be released in May. Even more than Quest, this title is ideal for younger girls aged ten years and older. If you are like me though, these stories only grow better with time. I've been reading these gems for years and still cannot get enough of them!

Many out-of-print or considered rare, these stories need to be re-discovered by today's girls. Just to mention "The Three Weavers"...this printing in Pearl of Beauty will be the only complete and unedited edition available in softcover.

Once Upon a Time...

Fair princesses, knights on mighty steeds, acts of chivalry and love. In the tales and fables of centuries past come truth and virtue with power to touch the hearts of today's virtuous maidens. Stories communicate with an impact like no other...often each re-reading will yield fresh insights and encouragement.

Now some of the most beloved writings on purity and virtue are collected into one volume. Opening with the powerful allegory of "The Three Weavers," this compilation also includes classic gems like "The Legend of the Bleeding-Heart," a fairy tale of love and selflessness; "Hidden Pearls," the parable of a young lady and her wedding gown; and other timeless selections from Louisa May Alcott, Gene Stratton Porter, Annie Fellows Johnston, and George MacDonald.

This book is more than simply a treasury of inspiring reading. Parents and mentors are encouraged to use this as a tool in nurturing their daughters through the reflection questions, discussion ideas, and other activities. All will be refreshed and challenged by the beauty of these timeless stories.

In order to keep the price low ($9.99) we are asking as many young ladies as possible to pre-order the book instead of waiting until it is released. This will ensure you get your book much sooner.

Thoughts on Singleness, Marriage, and Purity: Part 4

Just a note...I am not stating that any of the excerpts I have posted thus far are "the word" on these subjects...they are all perspectives and some may even contradict each other. These are to provoke thought and perhaps even cause you to mentally or verbally articulate why you agree or disagree.

These are far from the complete picture. Much more to come...though time constraints are going to keep me from being able to compile another post til next week. If any of you have quotes you feel would be a balance to what has been posted, or Scriptures that are applicable (in the next post I hope to start listing quite a few), please send them to us.

Chastity is not in our power, as little as are God’s other wonders and graces. But we are all made for marriage as our bodies show and as the Sciprtures state in Genesis 1, ‘it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him.’

I fancy that human fear and timidity stand in your way. It is said that it takes a bold man to venture to take a wife. What you need above all else then, is to be encouraged, admonished, urged, incited, and made bold. Why should you delay, my dear and reverend sir, and continue to weigh the matter in your mind? It must, it should, and will happen on any case. Stop thinking about it and go to it right merrily. Your body demands it, God wills it, and drives you to it. There is nothing that you can do about it…It is best to comply with all our senses as soon as possible and give ourselves to God’s Word and work in whatever He wishes us to do.

Let us not try to fly higher and be better than Abraham, David, Isaiah, Peter, Paul, and all the patriarchs, prophets, and apostles, as well as many holy martyrs and bishops, all of whom knew that they were created by God as men, were not ashamed to be and be thought men, conducted themselves accordingly, and did not remain alone. Whoever is ashamed of marriage is also ashamed of being a man or being thought a man or else he thinks that he can make himself better than God made him. – Martin Luther’s letter to Wolfgang Reissenbusch, March 27, 1525, Library of Christian Classics, Vol. XVIII Philadelphia: Westminster Press

This quote by Alex Chediak is thought-provoking. There is, of course, a counter argument but let’s give him the chance to speak here:

I hadn't been hearing that I needed a wife — after all, wasn't God enough? Didn't Paul say that it was good to remain single, as he was (1 Cor. 7:8)? And that each one should remain in the condition in which he was called (1 Cor. 7:20)? I told myself I could marry if God called me to, but that unless He made that unmistakably clear, I would — and should — stay my bachelor course.

I've known many single guys who think this way. The logic goes like this: "I'm a Christian. I love God. I currently don't have a wife. If God wants me to marry someone, He'll make that explicitly clear. For me to get proactive in the process is to imply that I don't trust God to make it happen. And seeking a wife seems less spiritual than taking on another ministry responsibility. After all, I'm single. I really should commit all my time to God, and not be distracted with thinking about girls."

There's nothing unspiritual about wanting marriage. Marriage is an important, normal, sanctifying, biblical aspect of adulthood. It provides protection from sexual sin, companionship, and the privilege to procreate and give back the gift of life.

Just as it's not necessarily sinful to be discontent and take action if you're unemployed or hungry, God has wired most of us with a longing for the sexual and emotional intimacy of marriage.

Thoughts on Singleness, Marriage, and Purity: Part 3

This post will excerpt from several articles on Boundless webzine and the book Sex and the Supremacy of Christ which directly support what John Piper taught in his sermon which was quoted in the previous post. Though Piper first preached that sermon in 1981 and the articles below appeared in 2005, the principles remain the same.

The next post will contain writings stretching back hundreds of years--the truth does not change. The same principles for purity and holiness in the relationships of men and women will not change because our God does not change. He is immutable (Ryrie defines this as "God is unchangeable and thus unchanging.") in his being, perfections, purpose and promises.

For I, the Lord, do not change. Malachi 3:6
Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17

From Boundless:

In her book Relationships, former college professor Dr. Pamela Reeve discusses three levels of friendships: acquaintances, companions and intimate friends. Dr. Reeve observes that men and women cannot sustain an intimate friendship without one or the other harboring romantic expectations. She recommends that men and women avoid being intimate friends outside of courtship and marriage.

Companions, she says, generally spend less than two hours together a week. When a man indicates he would like to see the woman more than that, but claims they are "just friends," he sends a mixed message.

Dr. Reeve writes: "One party can selfishly enjoy all the benefits of a relationship, the warmth and relief from loneliness, the satisfaction of the attention that feeds the ego — all without the accompanying commitment. One party luxuriates, while the other party feels cheated and is left with deep unsatisfied longings."

I've recently observed several non-dating relationships that seem to fall into the "intimate friends" category. In every case, it is the woman who is paying the price emotionally. Why? When a guy starts investing his heart, he can do something about it by making a move. And if the girl rejects him, the friendship ends or changes significantly. A woman, however, can hang on in this kind of relationship indefinitely, hoping the guy will eventually share her feelings. She makes herself available to him as a "friend," all the while hoping the friendship will blossom into something more.

The other quote for this post is an excerpt from Sex and the Supremacy of Christ titled Physical Intimacy and the Single Man:

• Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me, a married man, to have sex with a woman who is not my wife?
• Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me to kiss, caress, and fondle a woman who is not my wife (something short of intercourse)?
• Do you think it would be acceptable or unacceptable for me to have a meal with a woman not my wife and engage in extended conversation about each other's lives (likes/dislikes/struggles/pasts)?

If you answered "unacceptable" to three out of the three, or even two out of the three questions — "yes, it would be unacceptable for you as a married man to do those things" — I want to suggest that a double standard may exist in your mind. Many people who answer "unacceptable" with regard to me, as a married man, would not say "unacceptable" for the single man.

The author gives four reasons "why physical intimacy with a woman — at any level — to whom one is not married is potentially fraudulent, dangerous, and just as unacceptable for a man prior to marriage as it is after marriage." One is:

We are called to protect, not take advantage of, our sisters in Christ. Christian men are called to protect their sisters in Christ, not take advantage of them. Consider 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6. Defraud means "to deprive of something by deception or fraud." What do I mean by defrauding in this context? Simply put, a man defrauds a woman when, by his words or actions, he promises the benefits of marriage to a woman he either has no intention of marrying or if he does, has no way of finally knowing that he will.

What may be considered innocent — holding hands, putting an arm around her in the pew, some "light" kissing, long talks over Starbucks coffee — all send the message to a sister that reads, "You're mine." Single men must be careful here. A Christian woman is first and foremost a sister in the Lord. I trust none of us would do anything inappropriate with our own flesh- and-blood sisters. How much more a sister in the Lord! She may or may not become the man's wife. But she will always be a sister. Her heart, the "wellspring of life" (Prov. 4:23, NIV), must be guarded as if it were the man's own!

Statistically speaking, a single man should recognize that any single woman with whom he speaks will probably be someone's wife, and he will probably be someone's husband — maybe each other's, maybe not. So there should be no difference in standards of physical intimacy between the single man's conduct with a single woman and my standards as an already married man. Single men must conduct themselves in a way that will not result in embarrassment or shame in the future.

I bolded the text in the last paragraph because the inverse is also true: If what this author says is indeed true (and he supports it well with Scripture), as single women there should be no difference between our conduct now and that after we marry (if we do--and since we do not know for sure unless we have made a vow of lifelong celibacy I think that is a moot point for 99% of YLCF readers).

Thoughts on Singleness, Marriage, and Purity: Part 2

An excerpt from Boundless:

Second, I believe this question, though asked by a married reader, has implications for our single readers. It's a reminder that patterns of emotional intimacy that are set during dating or courtship have important implications for life after the wedding. Too much emotional intimacy too soon can be a red flag that the person you're considering as a future spouse lacks appropriate personal boundaries.

Some things are meant for the marriage relationship alone. Most obviously that includes sex. But that's not all. True emotional intimacy is only as intimate as it is limited to the two people sharing it. Any man willing to bond too deeply with women not his wife will be more likely to continue the pattern after he's married. After all, he's developed a habit in that direction.

Better a man who makes an effort not to do anything that could be misinterpreted as inappropriate attention than one who gushes over every new woman he meets.

John Piper’s sermon on Sex and the Single Person is helping me make some breakthroughs. First, read 1 Timothy 4:1-5:

Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by giving heed to deceitful spirits and doctrines of demons through the pretensions of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and enjoin abstinence from foods, which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for then it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.

Piper contends that "'God created (these things) to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.' All the unnecessary, innocent pleasures of life (and there are thousands of them) were created by God to be occasions for thanksgiving to God by those who believe and know the truth. The reason God created sexual desire and the event of sexual intercourse to satisfy it is not merely to fill the earth with people, but also to give another unique and exquisite occasion for the ascent of thanks from two hearts full of gratitude for God's gift of sexuality. "

The climax of this part of his sermon is here (emphasis mine):

Marriage is a commitment made for a lifetime, till death do us part. 1 Corinthians 7:39: “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.”

There is no other relationship between a man and a woman requiring that kind of permanent commitment. Therefore, in marriage God has designed a unique and stable and lasting relationship for our most intimate expression of love.

I find it helpful to use the analogy of Jesus' words in Matthew 7:6, "Don't cast your pearls before swine." It is possible to debase the truth by dispensing it willy-nilly. There are some truths that are too precious to be discussed in hostile, worldly settings. That's the way it is with our bodies, too. Nobody dispenses his bodily affections indiscriminately. You don't shake hands with all the people you nod to. You don't hug all the people you shake hands with. You don't kiss all the people you hug. And I would argue that there is a pearl of great value, a pearl of emotional, spiritual, physical intimacy, which can only be placed in one container without being debased and ruined, and that is the strong, permanent velvet-lined case of marriage.

Clearly, purity is to be revered as extremely valuable--not just because we think it should be or because it feels good, but because it is valuable. We are not ascribing worth to purity by treating it as such--we are only recognizing an attribute it already possesses.

A peek in the past...Part Two

Part two of Gretchen's speech at a Christian Writer's Conference back in 2000...

One of the topics I write and share a lot about is a concept I believe in so much. It is waiting for God’s perfect timing and choice for my husband, instead of playing the dating game with its endless cycle of going out and breaking up (which is just training teens for a pattern of divorce when they get married!). For me, waiting instead of dating means that I’m waiting on God to bring “Mr. Right” into my life.

At 16, I’m not ready to get married yet (so as Joshua Harris has said, why shop when you can’t buy? We need to be willing to pass up something good now because it’s the wrong time, believing that God will give us better when it’s the right time. (Josh Harris) Right now I can enjoy friendships with guys—but viewing them just as brothers in Christ, not as potential boyfriends.

So many campaigns and programs today are dedicated to saving yourself for marriage—and that’s great. But what are we doing to get off the broad pathway that leads to such sin? It doesn’t help to say “How far is too far?” That’s approaching it from the wrong direction. We tend to view purity as a line in the sand—and in seeing how close we can get to the line we end up walking right into sin.

But we’re not supposed to get as close as we can to compromise—we should be running in the opposite direction like Joseph did. My purpose in writing is to exhort my fellow teens to get off the road that’s leading us to sin! If we don’t set our standards and boundaries ahead of time, in moments of temptation we are not going to be able to make decisions with the future in mind. This society lives too much for the pleasure of here and now, with little thought for consequences in the future. We need to raise a higher standard than this. I really like this quote from Joshua Harris: “This country will not survive another generation of Christians that fit in!”

I write a lot about homeschooling, too—having been homeschooled for my entire life, I’ve come to believe firmly in it. And a big purpose for my writing is to encourage other homeschoolers. Yes, Christian school can be a good thing—I’ve seen some good results from public school, too—but I would still choose homeschooling for my kids.

It has greatly reduced the negative peer pressure my 14-year-old brother and I would normally face, and has given us time to focus on and be grounded in what is all-important—God and His Word. It has also given us more family-togetherness—we have a 4-year-old sister and a 2-year-old brother, whom we get to spend lots of time with. Homeschooling isn’t for everybody, but I would highly encourage it!!

An Amish man once said, “I do not believe that the Amish way of life is the plan of salvation. I do believe that it is a real help to me in living in conformance to God’s will.” The same can be said for homeschooling, waiting instead of dating, and many other things—they aren’t the only way, but are a real help for families trying to live their lives in accordance with God’s will.

So that is my purpose in writing—encouraging others in living differently for Jesus. What’s yours?

In “Chariots of Fire,” Eric Liddell said, “When I run, I feel God’s pleasure.” You know, Eric didn’t run for man’s approval. He didn’t follow the proper “rules” of running—he kept his eye on the goal. Eric ran Olympic races, and the race of life, for God’s approval only. May we remember in our writing that God is the only one we have to look to for approval. Don’t compromise truth so that a book or article will be more widely read or appreciated. If you’re proclaiming the Word of God, not everyone will like your writing. You may have some strong opponents to your message. Just keep in mind that God’s pleasure is the only thing that matters.

I pray that God will bless each one of you as you serve Him through writing. As we do this thing we all love—writing—may we feel God’s pleasure, knowing that He made us writers for a purpose!

Pamela's Prayer

Pamela's Prayer
By Dave Christiano Films - 57 Minutes

Her mother died the day she was born. Her father raised her with very high moral standards. He taught her a certain perspective about purity and marriage. All of her friends were dating. Pamela was not. It was hard. It seemed unfair. She didn't understand...

...until the day she got married.

"Pamela's Prayer" is the story of a prayerful father, a listening daughter, and the sovereignty of God.

It is faith realized...and purity lifted high.

A Review of "Pamela's Prayer"
by Paul S. Taylor, Christian Spotlight on the Movies
Christian Rating: 5 (highest) - Moviemaking Quality: 4-star --- Primary Audience: Pre-teen to Adult

Dating and purity are topics of intense interest to teens, young adults, and parents. This video uses a touching dramatic story to get audiences thinking about why God's way is best. "Pamela's Prayer" is a story of faith lived, and purity lifted high.

"Pamela's Prayer" was produced as a very personal project of Christian filmmaker Dave Christiano. It is the story of a widowed Christian father and his Christian daughter Pamela. Under Godly conviction, the father lovingly raises his daughter following Biblical principles-preparing her for marriage and a Godly life.

Each and every night he intercedes in prayer for her. We watch as Pamela grows from infancy into a 16-year-old and then a beautiful, marriageable woman. During the teen years, her girlfriend has gone out with anyone she wants. But Pamela and her father are following a non-dating path. As a teenager, Pamela sometimes rebels at her father's guidance-using the usual teen arguments-even sneaking out once. This heart-warming story shows the truth of the pain that can be avoided by following a straighter path than the world. In the end, she is overjoyed with the fruit of purity and develops even higher love and respect for her father and his kind, prayerful guidance.

This timely movie does not attempt to discuss all of the issues related to purity, dating or courting. Nor does it specifically mention the courtship-like approach that is increasingly popular among Christians today. What is does accomplish is a skillful weaving of Biblical principles, righteous living, and love of family that produces a story that touches the heart and soul. This movie's approach is soft and respectful, rather than fast-paced and flashy. Never pushy or judgmental, the message is presented with kindness and love.

Discussions should flow easily after viewing this video. Many will find this movie to be a useful tool for promoting Godly living among Christian young people. There is certainly a great need for it. I especially recommend "Pamela's Prayer" for viewing by pre-teens and young teens not yet involved in dating.

Viewers' Comments

"‘Pamela’s Prayer’ really touched my heart (especially now that I have a daughter of my own). My eyes even got misty during many scenes. The example of this widowed father challenged me to begin praying nightly for my own daughter. Though I certainly did not grow up in my teen years with the knowledge that there was any alternative to dating (everyone was doing it), this story makes me realize there IS an alternative, and…raises some thought-provoking topics." -An Arizona Viewer

"We just wanted to let you know how moved we were while viewing your movie ‘Pamela’s Prayer’ at its recent premiere. Its powerful lesson was presented in a touching and poignant manner that tugged at the strings of our hearts, particularly as parents. There were few dry eyes left near the end of the movie." -An Arkansas Viewer

"...about a year ago I had made a commitment to God that I would not kiss again until I got married. At age 17, people think that is insane. I knew it wasn’t. But about the time I needed the most encouragement with my commitment, I went and saw Pamela’s Prayer with our church youth group. I can’t express my gratitude for ya’ll’s faithfulness but I have thanked God many times for giving me something I can take to college with me as an encouragement." -An Arkansas Viewer

Gretchen's Rave Review
by Gretchen Glaser, Editor of the YLCF Journal

I was scrolling through a list of movies with a Christian rating of five stars, and I saw a movie called "Pamela’s Prayer" listed… After reading the review, I knew we had to get it. A video about a girl who didn’t date! Amazing!!

Just a few days after we received "Pamela’s Prayer" in the mail, my mom and I watched it together late one Saturday night. Both of us were crying when the movie was over. What a poignant, touching, heart-warming video! We stayed up late that night, talking about the video’s timely message, and of all the different people we wanted to share it with.

Within the next 24 hours, I watched "Pamela’s Prayer" three more times—with my brother; with my whole family; and with a girls’ Bible Study I attend.

"Pamela’s Prayer" is one of those videos that you want to watch again and again, so that the message can ingrain itself into your heart and mind. This video is a "MUST-SEE" for all Christian teens and parents, especially dads!

Order "Pamela's Prayer" Today!
Video
DVD
from ChristianBook.com

Graphic, review, comments, etc. used by permission of Dave Christiano.

Eric and Leslie Ludy

Eric and Leslie Ludy show us...
"Romance God's Way"!

A very romantic couple, with a very romantic love story. Their lives are proof that waiting on romance can be very romantic, even if you don't kiss until your wedding!

Their Books

His Perfect Faithfulness: A Love Story Built by God

Eric and Leslie's first book, His Perfect Faithfulness, is out of print but usually easy to find used and well worth the investment. This book is Gretchen and Natalie's favorite of the Ludy titles.

God's Gift to Women

Romance God's Way: Life-Changing Principles for Pre-Marriage Relationships

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Approach to Guy/Girl Relationships

When Dreams Come True: A Love Story Only God Could Write

Ludy Links

Pictures of Eric & Leslie's Wedding!
(originally printed in the Winter 1995 New Attitude Magazine)

Real Life Love Stories
(an article featuring the Ludys, originally printed in the Winter 1995 New Attitude Magazine)

Castle Building

First Kiss (excerpt from His Perfect Faithfulness)

Letter from Sharnessa's Heart on Romance (written after attending Eric & Leslie's conference)

Contentment Ministries - article on Eric and Leslie - by Eric Blievernicht

Quotations from Eric & Leslie

"Before our relationship ever began, we each individually made a decision to go against the cultural norm - even the Christian norm - by setting ourselves completely aside for each other in every way - mentally, emotionally, and physically. It was a difficult decision to make, yet it was the best foundation we ever could have laid for our marriage."

"If your future spouse could see you now, as you interact with members of the opposite sex, how would they feel? Would they feel hurt and jealous, or adored and special?"

"Faithfulness is not something that should begin only after the marriage vows are spoken. Faithfulness should be learned and practiced throughout our lifetime."

"A letter represents something far more than a kiss ever could. It evidences thoughtfulness and the gift of time. While a kiss can prove tender, it must overcome the stigma of impulsiveness to truly display love. A letter on the other hand, when written in the spirit of ardor and romance - even if it never mentions passion - strokes the heart deeper than any other form of physical touch. A kiss cannot be felt again and again from a great distance, but a letter can be read and reread thousands of times. A kiss only familiarizes the lips with the physical body of a lover. A letter familiarizes the heart, mind, and soul. Maybe that's why God chose to write us a letter."

"God knows what we're attracted to better than we do."

"Give God the Pen. The single reason He gave us the pen was so we could give it back to Him."

"Tenderness means looking at life through their eyes."

"Romance is more difficult after the honeymoon because you've won their heart...now you must cherish their heart."

"A woman's perception of her beauty is shaped by the men in her life. So be artists, be gentle and tender with the words you guys speak."

"A man's sense of masculinity and confidence flows directly from the women in his life. If the thing he works hard at is validated by a woman, it will stay with him for the rest of his life."

Advice To Girls: "Keep your standards high and keep trusting that that Knight in Shining Armor is out there for you and set yourself aside completely in purity for that person."

Advice To Guys: "Same thing, but also the character of Christ. I deal with girls all over the country—all over the world even—and I know that they’re more impressed with sensitivity, kindness, gentleness, and a pure heart than they are with muscles, smooth talk, and everything down just perfect. It’s the character of Christ that will win out in the end. So if you keep your standards high, God will not disappoint you."

A note from Gretchen: I read Eric and Leslie's book His Perfect Faithfulness the summer before I turned thirteen. The influence of their story made all the difference in my teen years. Because of their testimony, I made a commitment to save my heart for my future husband, and wait on God to bring us together in His perfect and faithful timing. I was excited to finally meet them at Summit Ministries in 2002, when the picture above was taken.

Click here for a complete listing of Eric and Leslie's books

A Father's Guide to Guarding His Daughter's Purity

The story of The Three Weavers by Annie Fellows Johnston is a classic, beautiful allegory about a young lady's purity. I think it needs to be balanced by discussion about God's forgiveness and cleansing, because the ending is quite harsh and could provoke despair in young girls who have made mistakes. But overall it is a good story and definitely an inspiration to younger girls, challenging them to guard their love for their future husband.

Robert and Shelley Noonan of Pumpkin Seed Press have published an excellent companion to this story which I have found to be a good balance and resource for gleaning the most truth from The Three Weavers . Interspersed with the text of the story are discussion questions, Bible study, and a multitude of creative ideas for fathers to do for and with their daughters.

Some of the ideas they presented were new to me and I love them! One example is for the father to write letters for his daughter's hopechest. The Noonans lay out a 7 week course for the father and daughter that can be adapted to suit your family's personal tastes/beliefs. I think that this would work best with a younger girl, perhaps between the ages of 8 and 13. Older girls will need more information and topics covered that will help them as they enter into the time of their lives where they are preparing for courtship.

And the Bride Wore White--Seven Secrets to Sexual Purity

I like this book. I really like this book. It is beautiful. It is practical. And, it isn't like your run-of-the-mill Christian dating book. So refreshing. It is one of the prettiest books visually I have ever seen...much like Dannah Gresh's other book for girls called "The Secret Keeper." The two titles complement each other well.

One thing I enjoyed about this Celebration edition of "And the Bride Wore White" was the countless stories of lives changed through reading this book. There were pictures and stories of girls saving their first kiss for marriage, of standing strong in purity. The Seven Secrets Dannah presents are simple, yet Biblically based and not heard often enough in books marketed to young girls, especially those who were not raised in a conservative Christian home. But even though I have been pretty sheltered throughout my life, this book still had some neat concepts that I enjoyed and Dannah made me view things a bit differently. Her analogy with the pearl is excellent. I won't tell you what it is--you'll have to read the book--but it's good.

I've read a lot of books on purity etc. and most of them, to be honest, sound the same. Dannah's is different. She makes you think, and her concepts are truly based on Biblical principles. Not that I expected less from a book published by Moody, but still! A nice surprise. This one is staying on my shelf to read with my girls someday. Note: There are some parts that I don't think would be appropriate for girls under age 16, but it is also tastefully presented and is information I think needs to be talked about before the girls begin a romantic relationship.

YLCF Bookshelf Favorite

The latest trend: Sexy = Covered Up

My grandmother has threatened to do it for years, but she didn't have to. An 11-year-old girl from Washington stepped forward and made her voice heard. Ella Gunderson wrote Nordstrom stores complaining about the clothing they offered, "Your clerks suggest that there is only one look. If that is true, then girls are supposed to walk around half naked. I think that you should change that."

The manager wrote back, "Wow...Your letter really got my attention ... I think you are absolutely right. There should not be just one look for everyone. This look is not particularly a modest one and there should be choices for everyone."

According to Seventeen magazine's fashion editor Gigi Solif Schanen, modesty is going to come back “in” this fall. Another fashion expert claimed the next trend will be for kids to look like monks. While I highly doubt that such will be the case, it’s good to see modesty getting some acclaim in the news.

"We like to call this new girl Miss Modesty. It's such a different feeling but still very pretty and feminine and sexy. It's just a little more covered up.” What a novel idea! Old-fashioned modesty has never stood in the way of men and women being attracted to each other--in fact, much the reverse.

“It's kind of like a sexy take on a librarian," declares the Seventeen editor. "I think people are tired of seeing so much skin and want to leave a little more to the imagination." Amen! As my 18-year-old brother says, “The more you’re covered the better.”

This will be a passing fad. Modesty may come “in” this fall, but go out again just as quickly next summer. But thankfully we don’t have to follow the fashion trends. We can stand up and be different. We can let our voice be heard along with Ella’s. We can dare to dress attractively and modestly.

Decent Proposal: Girls increasingly request modest fashion options (Associated Press)

“More modest clothing, please, girl asks Nordstrom” (Seattle Times)

Girl pleads to retailer for modest clothing (WorldNetDaily)

Site offers alternative to revealing clothes (WorldNetDaily)

Rebecca St. James makes international headlines with her stand on abstinence

Ever since I was about fourteen and spent some time with Rebecca's family when they did several concerts at my church and in my area, I have been a supporter not just of Rebecca's ministry, but of her as a person. She is a wonderfully down-to-earth homeschooled girl whose spiritual depth and commitment is always an encouragement to me. It's been years since I was able to see her in person but I keep up with what she is doing, and this article from CNN's headlines yesterday was quite interesting. Sometimes we can get so used to our little Christian sub-culture and our debates over whether to kiss or not to kiss before the marriage altar--not that any of that is a bad thing to have a stand on, but we forget that the rest of the world is dealing with far more crucial issues--abstinence itself, and all the consequences of not waiting until marriage.
You can read CNN's breaking news article here.

inspiring quotes from "the magic garden"

Which, by the way, despite the title has nothing to do with magic and everything to do with faithfulness and purity.

This sweet book is one I will be reading to my young girls someday....The Magic Garden by Gene Straton Porter

“He is smiling and he is trying just as hard to be nice for me as I am trying to be nice for him. He is playing my dance, and when it comes the time for me to do it again for him, he will play it more beautifully than even the man who wrote it could play it. When I find him there will not be any other girl he has ever played that dance for, and there will not be any other girl he has put his arms around and whose lips he has kissed, because he promised me and I promised him. I belong to John Guido and he belongs to me.” (pg. 106)

She knew, just as she knew that the sky was blue and the stars were holding their places and the sun and moon were going in their courses, so she knew that John Guido was keeping the faith, that he loved her, that she was the thought that every minute was in the back of his heart, just as he was the thought that every minute was at the back of hers. (pg. 119)

She had grown to woman’s mental stature, and she had grown to beauty so much greater than any beauty that could be seen in girls around her that she shone out as one star brighter than all the rest shines in the heavens, because she belonged to John Guido.
She had kept herself for him alone. Any healthful game she had played. In races she had ridden. She could sail a boat and she could swim, but there was not a boy living who had dared lay his hands familiarly upon her. To herself she was a sacred thing. She was set apart. When she went to John Guido and said, “I have come back to you,” as she had promised, she must go with lips that no other boy’s kisses had touched. She must go with ears that had not been sullied with vulgarity. She must go as God intended that every woman should go to the man she loves. She must go untouched by other men, unsullied, absolutely clean.
And deep in her heart, Amaryllis knew that as she was planning to go to John Guido, he was coming to her. Those girls in Rome who had smiled on him and loitered in front of him, those girls who had beauty and youth and alluring charm—he had not even seen them. He had gone past them with his eyes looking clear across to America, looking only for Amaryllis. And when he came, there would not be any sordid story to tell him. There would not be anything humiliating to confess. She would be able to say, “I have not gone with the crowd. I have waited apart. I have kept myself something sacred, something holy, waiting for you.” (pgs 125-126)

“He’s just the rarest chap that I ever met. But, Amaryllis, if you’ve got any idea that you can get your tentacles on that man, you had better forget it.”
Amaryllis said, “What makes you think that, Peter?”
“Why, Amaryllis,” said Peter, “that chap is so dead in love with some girl he’s waiting for that he can’t see any other girl. There wasn’t a marriageable female on that ship who did not throw herself at his head from the time he stepped on the promenade dock until he came down the gangplank, and he didn’t even see them! Amaryllis, he’s so dead in love with some girl somewhere that he’ll not even talk about her. All he will do is talk about love. It is a thing so high, so holy, and so wonderful!” (pgs. 147-48)

“Will it please you to know that he has not followed the ways of a good many young men? Will you be glad to have his father tell you that no woman has touched his life or his heart but you?” (pg. 159)