In memory of Merritt's Grandpa, and President Ronald Reagan
who went home to Heaven after their bouts with Alzeimher's
leaving loving wives behind
"We've had an extraordinary life, and I've been blessed to have been married for almost fifty years to a man I deeply love--but the other side of the coin is that it makes it harder. There are so many memories that I can no longer share, which makes it very difficult. When it comes right down to it, you're alone. Each day is different, and you get up, put one foot in front of the other, and go--and love; just love. It's hard, but even now there are moments Ronnie has given me that I wouldn't trade for anything.
Alzheimer's is a truly long, long good-bye. But it's the living out of love."
-Nancy Reagan in I Love You, Ronnie
"Whatever days are left to me, they belong to Him."
-Ronald Reagan
A Tribute to the Love of Ronald and Nancy Reagan
quotations from I Love You, Ronnie: The Letters of Ronald Reagan to Nancy Reagan
(Published by Random House, Copyright 2000)
“This is a very lonesome place when you are someplace else.”
“Just think we were married 28 minutes ago. Yes, I know the calendar says years but what does it know? Time goes by faster when you are happy and I’m the happiest man in the world.”
“When I was young I thought marriage might be this way for a while: I never knew it could go on and on, getting better and better year after year.”
“It’s amazing what that four letter word, ‘wife,’ covers when it’s applied to you. It means a companion without whom I’m never quite complete or happy. It means the most desirable woman in the world who gets more desirable every day. It means some one who can make me lonely just by leaving the room.”
“She has 2 hearts—her own and mine. I’m not complaining. I gave her mine willingly and like it right where it is.”
“I wonder how I lived at all for all the three hundred and sixty fives before I met you.”
“We are so much ‘one’ that you are as vital to me as my own heart—with one exception; you could never be replaced with a transplant.”
“If I ache, it’s because we are apart and yet that can’t be because you are inside and a part of me, so we aren’t really apart at all. Yet I ache but wouldn’t be without the ache, because that would mean being without you and that I can’t be because I love you.”
“I love you so very much I don’t even mind that life made me wait so long to find you. The waiting only made the finding sweeter.”
“Tonight I’ll probably be looking at the Moon which means I’ll be looking at you—literally and figuratively because it lays far to the South of this mountain top and that’s where you are. That takes care of the ‘literal’ part—the ‘figurative’ part requires no direction, I just see you in all the beauty there is because in you I’ve found all the beauty in my life.”
“I could offer you my heart but I’d have to get it back from you first.”
At a private service in California on June 11, 2004, President Reagan's children shared tributes to their father
"As years went by and I became older and found a woman I would marry, Colleen, he sent me a letter about marriage and how important it was to be faithful to the woman you love with a P.S. -- you'll never get in trouble if you say I love you at least once a day, and I'm sure he told Nancy every day I love you as I tell Colleen."
-Michael Reagan
"At the early onset of Alzheimer's Disease my father and I would tell each other we loved each other and we would give each other a hug. As the years went by and he could no longer verbalize my name, he recognized me as the man who hugged him. So when I would walk into the house, he would be there in his chair opening up his arms for that hug, hello, and the hug good-bye. It was a blessing truly brought on by God."
-Michael Reagan
"...at his last moment, when he opened his eyes, eyes that had not opened for many, many days and looked at my mother, he showed us that neither disease nor death can conquer love."
-Patti Davis
"History will record his worth as a leader. We here have long since measured his worth as a man. Honest, compassionate, graceful, brave. He was the most plainly decent man you could ever hope to meet. He used to say, a gentleman always does the kind thing. And he was a gentleman in the truest sense of the word. A gentle man. Big as he was, he never tried to make anyone feel small. Powerful as he became, he never took advantage of those who were weaker. Strength, he believed, was never more admirable than when it was applied with restraint. Shopkeeper, doorman, king or queen, it made no difference, dad treated everyone with the same unfailing courtesy."
-Ron Reagan Jr.
Myrna Blyth, in her column in the National Review entitled "Taking Care of Ronnie: Mrs. Reagan Gave Her Husband What He Needed":
Obviously, a woman who understood how to take care of a husband, in the best of times and the worst, is Nancy Reagan. Nobody could help but admire the valiant way she coped with her husband's long illness. The couple's great friend Michael Deaver has said: "As the years progressed, she didn't really go anywhere. She was simply there with him...Ronald Reagan was her life. From the time she met him, she'd done anything she could for him."
Yet during the White House years, the former First Lady was often criticized and laughed at for her total devotion to her man. Remember the jokes people made about Nancy's rapt and adoring look of love whenever her Ronnie spoke, no matter how many times she listened to exactly the same speech or heard exactly the same jokes. How women, especially, in those stridently feminist times, scoffed at the way she fussed over him, coddled him, and fiercely protected him from any criticism or slight.
What we were watching, of course, was a love story, the real thing, starring a woman who didn't mind being "the woman behind the man," not because he was a great man (which he was), but because she truly adored him. He, in turn, was a man who, even when he had forgotten his many glory years, was still trying to pick a rose in a neighbor's garden for his beloved "lady."
"Nancy was Ronald Reagan's emotional caretaker" Laura Schlessinger says, and all Americans owe her so much. Because of the way she cared for him, he could remain optimistic and resolute and effective as he cared for us. Unlike so many wives who are always criticizing, always asking their husbands to change, she loved him just the way the he was. That may be the most important reason he had the confidence and courage to truly change our world.
Rush Limbaugh, commenting on Blyth's column and Schlessinger's book:
"She [Nancy Reagan] didn't at all subordinate herself, and nobody ever thought that she subordinated herself... She just loved him! She just loved him and she knew who he was and let him be who he was -- and look, he never left her side. The premise of Dr. Laura's book is, if I can boil it down is, just: the happiest woman in the world is the woman who lets her husband be who he is. ...[President Reagan is]who he was because he found the right woman. Pure and simple. He's who he was because he found the right woman. So that's a great tribute to her."
She Misses Him
She shaves his face
She combs his hair
She helps him find his rocking chair
She cooks his meals
She wipes his mouth
And the window that he's looking out
She reads him books
She speaks his name
Oh every day is much the same
She sighs that sigh from deep within
The one that says
She misses him
She misses his gentle touch
And the way he used to make her laugh
She misses the man he was
In all of those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
The man who stole her very heart
She misses him
His children come on Saturday
There at his feet
His grandkids play
It's sad they don't know him at all
He's just the one they call grandpa
They take out his trash
They mow his lawn
Things he can't do since he's been gone
She's grateful that they're pitching in
And like everyone
She misses him
She misses his gentle touch
And the way he used to make her laugh
She misses the man he was
In all of those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
The man who stole her very heart
She misses him
And yes they're still together
After all these years
But sometimes you can almost feel
The sadness in her tears
She misses his gentle touch
And the way he used to make her laugh
She misses the man he was
In all of those old photographs
So strong, so kind, so sweet, so smart
The man who stole her very heart
She misses him
(by T. Johnson, sung by Tim Rushlow)