Letting Beauty Fade

Short, fat, tall, thin. I look in the mirror and a thousand voices echo in my head. This is too big, that’s not big enough. My inner critic is relentless and harsh. Images swirl through my mind’s eye. Bone-thin models and beautiful actresses and singers. Every one of them telling me the same thing. You don’t measure up.

Then the if onlys start in.
If only I was thinner.
If only I my hair had more body.
If only I was a little taller.
If only I was shorter.
If only I was more petite.
If only my teeth were whiter.
If only my eyelashes were thicker.
If only…if only…if only…if only…

Don’t you ever wish there was some kind of physical Christmas where we could get “presents” in the form of changes to our bodies? 5 pounds knocked off here…blonde hair or blue eyes thrown in over there. How about an amazing natural tan that never wore off in the winter? Maybe that’s what God will give me from my physical wish list next time around!

How God must sigh to hear his beloved children fret so. I sometimes wonder if He longs to break those mirrors and shred our silly fashion magazines. Trust Me! I can hear Him saying. I designed you in your mother’s womb…every pore of your being crafted according to my flawless blueprint. You are Mine and I love you. You are my child and you are beautiful.

And yet we listen to the carnal voices, and allow empty words to drown out this ageless love. In 1665, an English pamphlet recommended that women “bleed” themselves drastically (from their right arm in the spring and left arm in the autumn) to maintain slimness. So often my friends and I have gasped in shock over these and other weird horror stories. How could women wear corsets so tight they fainted? Or Chinese women up until the 1940’s bind their feet until they turned into tiny little hoofs, in accord with their culture’s definition of beauty? Who would do something so restricting and destructive to themselves?

And yet we are the same way. Are we blind to our own failings? When I think of the number of times I’ve skipped meals or stayed up late to work out, I see that I am no better. The question is –how can we be so afraid of ugliness that we would torture our bodies in order to match the latest societal norm? The mirror tells us one thing, our minds another, and the media gives us no rest.

These confining regulations are held to us by society. God’s Word contains none of this. Rather, He comforts us with the gentle reminder in Psalm 139, “…You knitted me together in my mother’s womb…I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…my frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.” And He lovingly rebukes our wrong focus by stating His true and timeless standard in Proverbs 31:30, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”

Our Father knows our limitations. He understands that culture’s call to physical perfection is impossible. No one is “flawless.” Not the most beautiful model, not the most glamorous starlet. 95% of the pictures you see in those fashion catalogs and magazines have been edited and manipulated by a computer program. We all have insecurities and “defects.” No one is exempt.

But enough of the problems. You already know of them, because they exist inside all of us. What is the solution? What is the answer we so desperately need? I am reminded of the words of an old hymn.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.

That, I think, is the answer. It is so simple and yet so powerful. We must get our eyes off of ourselves and onto Jesus Christ. The answer to contentment is not losing weight or finding the perfect make-up products or dressing just right. It is not heightened self-esteem or being around people who make you feel good about yourself.

You will find contentment when you focus on Jesus Christ and on Him alone.

This is a hard task. It is not something you will learn overnight. It is a journey; a long, long journey, and like your Christian walk, some days will be better than others. There will be high mountains on this pilgrimage…times when you are so close to God you can feel His breath on Your face…and then there will be valleys, dark places where you can neither see God nor feel His love. Those are the times when you will feel a loneliness inside of you, and a restlessness, a longing to taste the slop of the world and a derision towards the feast of heaven. Then you must walk by faith and not by sight, because your perspective is clouded. You must keep going and trust that soon you will come to the level places and to a richer understanding of Him. You must keep placing one foot in front of the other, knowing that soon, you will return to your sweet walk with your Savior.

Like Peter, you must keep your eyes on Jesus. When you stop focusing on the Lord, the turbulent waves of this world will threaten to pull you under. But fix your gaze on Him and you will walk above those waves in a way that the unsaved world cannot fathom.

Don’t compare yourself to the faces and bodies held up to you as ideal. Be the beautiful child of God that He has made you to be, by comparing your heart to His. Don’t give credence to those feelings of jealousy. And don’t entertain “if onlys”! Send them out the door without a by-your-leave! God made you exactly as He wanted to, and He loves you. What more can you ask for? The fleeting admiration of fickle man? That is nothing compared to the supremacy of Christ’s love, the constancy of His friendship, and the richness of His affection.

Look ahead. Look beyond the passing present. Charm is deceitful…beauty is vain. The appearance of the most gorgeous woman will deteriorate. But a heart devoted to God has a lasting legacy.

There is nothing wrong with beauty. God created it, and He created us to appreciate it. But there is everything wrong with dwelling on beauty, idolizing beauty, and valuing external beauty above all else.

Look to Jesus. Allow Him to calm the storms of your heart, and keep your eyes on Him. Everything else will fade in that light.

Keely B. is a 16 year-old California country girl. She loves Jesus, her friends and her big family of nine. Besides writing, Keely enjoys horseback riding, sports, reading, playing the fiddle and listening to country music. She is the editor of Apples of Gold E-Magazine and also runs Sisters Keepers, a brand new blog for Christian girls.

On Fairy Tales - A taste from Quest

Though I am leaving YLCF--at least for a season--there are a number of pieces already scheduled to be published throughout the remainder of the summer. This piece comes from the updated edition of Quest for the High Places. Though I did not start out with the intent to rewrite Quest, only to revise it, ultimately I came out having rewritten 90% of the text. I find myself with, in many ways, a completely new book which I hope addresses the issues in stronger and more relevant ways.

To begin I wanted to post part of an introductory chapter dealing with chivalry, romance, and fairy tales. After that watch for an excerpt on the place of longing and desire in our lives.

While the specifics may vary, the core of this fairy tale remains constant. In a vulnerable moment many of us would admit that it has captivated our imaginations from earliest memory.
Once upon a time…there lived a lovely and graceful young princess of exquisite beauty and virtue. Her golden hair tumbled in curls to her waist and her arresting eyes the color of a summer sky are renowned throughout the land.

This maiden is captured by the evil adversary of the kingdom and held prisoner in his fortress where any chance of rescue or help seems futile. As the days and weeks pass, she fights despair. Does no one know of her plight? Will no one try to help her? She tries to remain strong but her heart aches with her attempts to find a reason to hope. If only one person found her worthy of sacrifice. If only there were a man who could set her free and save her from this harrowing darkness! What if she came to harm at the hands of the enemy? Would she be alone for the rest of her life?

But hope is not lost so long as one brave warrior remains in the land. A chivalrous young man loves the princess with all his heart and willingly risks his life for her freedom. Despite pain, setbacks and hardship, the knight fights through the difficulties and demonstrates superior courage against evil. At last he wins the battle and rescues his princess.

As he throws open the door to her tower prison, she cries for joy and runs into his waiting arms. With infinite tenderness he claims a hard-won kiss. Then, leading her into the courtyard he lifts her onto his horse and they gallop into the sunset. Their homecoming is heralded with great rejoicing. After a whirlwind of preparation the knight and his princess are married. And they live happily ever after.

Happily ever after. Perhaps we feel childish or silly if we admit that we long for such a romantic adventure. Is it intrinsically wrong that stories trigger a soul hunger for an intangible more? Must such dramas be allocated to girlish daydreams and Hollywood movies? Surely not!

In Wild at Heart John Eldredges agrees:

From ancient fables to the latest blockbuster, the theme of a strong man coming to rescue a beautiful woman is universal to human nature. It is written in our hearts, one of the core desires of every man and every woman….no, we have not been poisoned by fairy tales and they are not merely “myths.” Far from it. The truth is, we have not taken them seriously enough (181-182).

Though I take issue with Eldredge’s theology, his point is valid. Rough stretches on my journey taught me that part of my persistent soul sighs stems from a fearful, stubborn refusal to acknowledge the validity and God-given worth in my fascination with fairy tales.

The fairy tale is not the conclusion, but the doorway to a more brilliant reality. Pushed onto a pedestal as the final answer their worth is misshapen and distorted. The world’s story may end with a couple living happily ever after but our life in Christ enables the intimacy of the human relationship to illuminate an eternal perfection. In a balanced perspective, neither denigrated nor exalted from their intended place, fairy tales are a lovely and exhilarating part of life.

Something marvelous occurred when I finally stopped shying away from fairy tales, chivalry and romance as unrealistic and childish. When I set aside my inhibitions and wholeheartedly entered into the stories I discovered their unique ability to bless and delight my heart. Through delicate brushes with eternity the fairy tales ushered me into a world full of wonder.

Psalm 20 exclaims, “May He grant you your heart’s desire!” In the next chapter it says, “Thou hast given him his heart’s desire and Thou hast not withheld the request of his lips.” God has put these yearnings in us not to frustrate us, but for His sovereign purpose—a purpose that goes beyond what we can comprehend in our limited vision. God did not plant this need inside to be satisfied with anything less than Himself and His best: the ultimate “happily ever after” around the throne of our great God and King.

Teacups and Paintbrushes

January 12, 2008

Last week my sister-in-law had two of my friends and me for lunch. It had been arranged before Christmas, a flurry of emails having saved and secured the date, but as I set out on that dour January morning, it seemed to me that the timing of our little gathering was exquisitely providential. My mood was as heavy as the dark clouds piling in from the west; tears seemed even more imminent than raindrops and the headache that had been brewing with the approaching weather front was raging so violently I could hardly see straight. I pulled into her driveway with something like a sigh of relief and hauled myself out of the car, grateful only that I hadn’t gotten a speeding ticket on my way there as I had two days previously en route to meet two other friends for lunch…

Edie still had her Christmas wreath on the door—fresh and yet fragrant it was too lovely to take down. I gazed at it rather mournfully, luxuriating a bit in my post-holiday blues. But before I had a chance to knock the door swung open, and there stood Edie, smiling in her radiantly gentle way, and beyond her, Ashley and Debra, waiting to receive me with hugs and smiles of their own. Is there any medicine on earth so potent as the embrace of a friend?

I forgot my headache. I dismissed my Janu-weary mood, for what place had it in this little sanctuary of beauty and warmth? The 1920’s bungalow was aglow with candlelight, and soft French music lilted through the rooms. A collective gasp went up at the sight of our table, for a more daintily feminine array cannot be imagined. There were place cards (with appropriately deco script), and the damask cloth was laid with every possible accouterment for a ladies’ tea: antique china, vintage silver, a tiered cake plate boasting everything from homemade scones to macaroons and melt-in-your-mouth truffles. On the sideboard stood enticing decanters of chilled lemonade, with crystal goblets at the ready. And everywhere I cast my eye, it seemed, were sweet little bottles and vases of pink and white spray roses. Pretty as a Valentine; proper as an English tea room.

Edie brought out the soup course while I poured the tea, and then we fell to the feast of fellowship with as much relish as we polished off the roasted red pepper soup, and the mushroom and pine nut quiche that followed. Our conversation took a delightfully meandering course, as it only can in the hands of like-minded ladies. We discussed everything from organic gardening to vacuum cleaners, touching on politics, homeschooling and needlepoint, each in their turn.

But over all our talk, it seemed, a shining mantle was cast, a high vision of beauty’s worth that infused every subject with a strange sort of lowly nobility. Time and again we came back to one of the tenets of our homemaker’s hearts: the value and validity of loveliness. The power of beauty, in its simplest and purest sense, to speak audibly of the presence of Jesus Christ in our lives. Beauty is of Him, from Him, for Him. Beauty has a language that transcends even the finest words, that soars above our sweetest experiences in this life and whispers to our souls of what heaven will be.

Debra and Ashley are painters, artists in both life and craft. It has been beautiful for me to watch the former inspire and instruct the latter, pouring herself out, as it were, to the enrichment of a friend’s creative world. As a homeschooling mother of three, Debra could easily justify the forestallment of her own artistic desires. But instead, she’s set an example for the three of us childless women not to deny the significance of our own unique and God-given talents, even in the whirl of a houseful of teenagers. Creativity is a hidden spring, feeding the deep wells of our personalities. And when that spring is tended, unclogged and running true, cups of cold water in His name abound. We give of ourselves, because there is something there to give.

Ashley has approached the discipline of oils with courage and joy (almost she makes me want to paint…not quite. I’m not that brave!). I love to go into her house and see a new work in progress lying on the dining room table, or to catch that light that comes into her eyes when she’s describing some technique that Debra’s entrusted to her. Ashley doesn’t want to have her works in the Met, or even make a living off her paintbrush. She wants beautiful things of her own making on the walls of her home; she wants to give gifts that are indeed a portion of herself. When one considers that her whole life is a gift, that being around her is one of the most energizing occupations I can think of, it appears that the hours spent mixing paints and poring over a canvas are a perfectly natural and even necessary replenishment for her.

Into the midst of all our high talk that afternoon, Ashley slipped an analogy she’d heard in a sermon that caught my fancy in a compelling way. She gave us a picture of our callings: Some of us are tiny watercolor brushes, with only a few strands, intended for the most delicate of detail work. And the range goes all the way up to those big industrial paint rollers that can cover a whole wall in minutes. If you asked a watercolor brush to coat the side of a building it would be a disaster that ended in despair. And a paint roller would wreak havoc upon a little violet in a cut glass vase. Is the paint roller more important, more valid, because it covers a greater area with speed and efficiency? Is a Winsor & Newton more extraordinary merely because it is able to capture the rare beauties of life that might otherwise have been trodden underfoot? We all know the answer—in our heads. Both have their place and their job to do. And it’s a job that is certainly never going to get done by looking around at the other brushes nearby and comparing oneself to their bristle size and handle length. Or their subject matter, for that. And just as an artist will rifle through many brushes in the creation of one painting, we will doubtless find that the Master Painter will bring varying sizes of implements to bear upon the living landscapes we’re all creating, day in and day out.

And, if you happen to be a watercolor brush, don’t be mistaken in thinking that you cannot have a far-reaching impact in this world for beauty and truth. In a recent (and umpteenth!) viewing of the movie Miss Potter, I was struck by something she said regarding her own art: “I’m not very good at landscapes,” with a somewhat regretful glance over a sweep of Lake District loveliness. But Beatrix Potter was good at animals. And charming little stories that revealed their dignity to untold numbers of children the world over. She did not set out to write the best-selling children’s books of all time, or to almost single-handedly save the Lake District. She was just brave enough to be good at what she was good at. And there’s not a one of us alive who should not be grateful to her for it.

In like manner, Edie was merely living in her gifts that day. Hospitality, gentleness and grace; the touch of an artist upon her table and the rooms of her home. She gave of herself in that little luncheon for four, and created an environment for edification to flourish. It took time and great care, and a painterly attention to detail. (And if she wasn’t the immaculately tidy housekeeper I know her to be, I’d say she was still washing dishes!) She refreshed us from a source both deep and true, and I feel safe in assuming that she was refreshed in the process. This is beauty’s seal and signature: a mutual joy and a glory to God.

Join us at the HeartThoughts Retreat Center

It all started with Hugh Hewitt's lifetime book reading list. Take time to read the entire transcript and see if it does not inspire you to pursue challenging reading no matter your age or interests.

Some of the list I've thoroughly digested, but far too many titles I've but the smallest acquaintance with. Thus I've chosen some of the top books Allen and Reynolds listed to tackle in the near future--partly through the YLCF Book Society. I'm a bit intimidated but also determined. If I can consume over 15,000 pages of material on a single subject (yes, I admit it, I did!) in the last several months, then I can certainly press through 1000 or so pages of Cervantes or Dostevsky. Right?

I've set a challenge for myself that I know is do-able, but will stretch me. My hope is to have finished these books before the end of 2008. Would any of you like to join me in reading? Almost all of the books mentioned are available online so purchasing the book is optional. If anyone wants to join in, I'd enjoy the company.

The Challenge: Choose ten books which will stretch you, preferably from either Hugh Hewitt's list or something similar (more ideas below). Comment or email me your list. Anyone who makes a list and makes it through even part of it can share what they learned, what they liked, etc. Every month I can post an update on how everyone is doing. Some of you will likely put me to shame, considering how distracted I get with other things these days (husband...home...husband...:smile:). For lots more conversation and fun than the YLCF once-monthly updates, go hang out at the retreat center. Bonus: Take a picture of you with your pile of books!

Greek Tradition

1. Homer’s The Illiad

2. Plato's Republic

Outside the Classical World
3. The Epic of Gilgamesh

Roman Tradition

4. Virgil’s Aeneid

Middle Ages and Renaissance

5. Augustine's Confessions

6. Dante’s Divine Comedy

The Expansion of the Mind

7. Voltaire's Candide

8. Paradise Lost

Modern Perspectives

9. Brothers Karamazov

10. War and Peace

I have to admit, Brothers Karamazov is what scares me the most right now. It's so...long. :smile: For anyone who remains unconvinced about the worth of such a huge time investment (not to mention such a huge amount of mental work!), David Allen White commented on why we should read the great books of history:

But one of the things I, at least, think most people should do in the time that they spend on this planet, is have a sense of the greatest that’s been given to us. A life itself is the greatest gift, to have an immortal soul is extraordinary, but in beginning to understand what that means, I think you’ve got to turn to the greatest writers who can give you some sense of what it’s all been about, why you’re here, what it means and where you’re going. And that means you’ve got to delve into the great writers.

JM Reynolds's perspective:

We need young men and women with souls that are good, true and beautiful. And if we’re going to form souls that are good, true and beautiful, we can’t begin with our own souls, because all of us are in process, too. The great writers know how to shape us morally, to get to goodness. They know how to help us find the big ideas, the truths that never change from culture to culture. And they know most importantly how to make us beautiful, so that we don’t fall into the trap of thinking only things that work matter. We need beauty in our lives as well.

We dumb down education because it’s easier to be stupid than it is to be smart. These books aren’t immediately fun to read, though they’re fun for the rest of your life in an intellectual sense. And so let’s face it, most college educators and most high school educators in particular are anti-intellectual in an intellectual field.

There are dozens of other books that can be classed among the most beautiful of all time. Below is my list of some the beautiful books I have read that are available on The Literature Network. These are the classics everyone should read at least once in a lifetime; these are the classics you cannot read just once.

Are all of the above books or my recommendations below pleasant books? Certainly not. The first time I read the first chapters of Jane Eyre I hated it. Hugo's books are some of the most difficult reads I've ever attempted (but made easier if read aloud with a roommate at 2 am as we did :smile). All of these books are at your fingertips; I've linked to free copies online for each and every one.

Try Aesop’s Fables, Louisa May Alcott’s An Old Fashioned Girl and Little Women, Hans Christian Anderson’s The Little Match Girl, portions of Arabian Nights, Beowulf, and Jane Eyre. You must read something by Robert Browning, Emily Dickinson, O’Henry, Longfellow, Martin Luther, Tennyson, P.G. Wodehouse, and Beatrix Potter. Every girl will love Burnett’s A Little Princess and The Secret Garden (and why not the short story Sara Crewe while we are in her area?).

Read some Father Brown by Chesterton, Wilke Collins’ The Moonstone, and Robinson Crusoe and lots of Dickens: A Christmas Carol, a Tale of Two Cities, and Little Dorrit.

Some of my all-time favorites are The Three Musketeers, The Hound of the Baskervilles, Wives and Daughters, Wind in the Willows, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (Or Les Miserables), MacDonald's most well-known classic The Princess and the Goblin, Anne of Green Gables, Polyanna, Merry Adventures of Robin Hood, Black Beauty, The Twenty-Fourth of June, Ivanhoe, Five Little Peppers, Heidi, Treasure Island, Freckles (and everything else Porter ever wrote!) and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer.

Finally, dip into Journey to the Center of the Earth and Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass (ed. I’d add the poem Jaberwocky in also). Whew!

Maidens Quest Ministries

Written in September: Two sets of sisters are leading the third Maiden's Quest retreat next week. From origins in Texas, the September retreat is being held in Seattle and plans for more are in the works. It has thrilled my heart to see Katrina and Tara heading up this much-needed ministry for young ladies and we are excited to help spread the word.

Katrina writes: "Tara and I have been friends for many years, but due to the distance between our homes, we have only been able to see each other at select times throughout each year. In September of 2006, we met up again at a mutual friend’s wedding, much to our delight!

"As we visited together about the things of the Lord and the latest ministry opportunities He had given us, we discovered a like-hearted passion for investing in the lives of young ladies. Having both experienced the tremendous blessing of Godly older role models during our teen years, we shared a similar burden to faithfully pass on the baton of encouragement to younger girls now facing the choices that come with growing up....

"An idea came to me that I now know was from the Lord. What if Tara and I could join forces and host some sort of retreat, conference, or weekend event for the young ladies we knew? The event could provide edifying messages, feminine skill-building opportunities, and an atmosphere for encouraging fellowship."

Caption: Katelin, Tara, Katrina, and Kelly, the leaders of the Maiden's Quest retreat for young ladies.

Homemade Beauty Recipes

Aspirin Mask

Aspirin has salicylic acid in it, which comes from trees, and is good for drying up any acne outbreaks you may have. It is commonly used in face care products. The best aspirin to use is the inexpensive, uncoated aspirin. Once you find some, you need to grind it into as fine a powder as possible. (Natalie: A mortar and pestle are perfect for this) I keep my crushed aspirin in a mini-tupperware type container in the bathroom so it's handy. The aspirin is the dry portion of your mask.

Spoon a little of your powdered aspirin into a bowl. I never measure, but I guess for a whole face, I use about 3/4 to 1 tsp. of the powder. After you do it a few times, you will figure out just how much you need. For that amount of aspirin, mix in two drops of pure 100% aloe gel, one large drop of honey, and drop or two each of lavender and tea tree essential oils. Mix that together thoroughly with your spoon, and it's all ready. You should wash your face with warm water before using any mask, because it helps your pores open up so the mask can work deeply. Leave your mask on for at least 15 minutes, and then rinse with warm water.

I wouldn't do the mask more than two time a week for the first couple of weeks until your skin adjusts to it. Then you can work up to probably doing it every other day if you want. On the in-between days (especially at first when you're only doing the mask a couple of times a week), you can do a plain honey mask. Do that by just smearing plain honey on your face (and stay away from any bears or insects!) after washing, and again, leave it on for 15 minutes or more. The honey really helps to calm your skin, reduce any redness/inflammation, and make you glow. :smile:

Natalie: Wal-Mart's pharmacy will order lavender essential oil for you. Total cost: $3.50. We found 100% aloe vera gel at Target and a mortar and pestle at the local health food/nutrition store. If you can, get local honey from a beekeeper!

Conditioning Mixture

For hair, your aloe and honey are your best friends. I keep a plastic bowl in the bathroom, and I like to squirt my conditioner in the bowl, and then mix in some honey and aloe with it. I'd say I do about two parts conditioner to one part aloe and one part honey.

The honey and aloe are great humectants, which means they help your hair absorb moisture. About once a week, I like to do an apple cider vinegar rinse after shampooing (blondes should use white vinegar, as ACV has a tendency to darken light hair), and then use my conditioner mixture. I think the ACV really helps strip up any buildup that has accumulated on my hair shaft over the week, and then the super-charged conditioner mixture can really soak in.

- by April Hala

Feminine Attire

On my personal (mostly photography) blog I compiled a series of posts on the subject of beautiful, feminine clothing--particularly long, flowing skirts and dresses. If you are curious, you can check out the four posts starting here.

Photo: Chantel enjoying the ocean

Dandelion Wishes

Simple joys, richly held. Moments drunk to their fullest. Life tastes good.

This weekend I am babysitting a missionary family's children so they can enjoy a much-deserved getaway. The two girls (8 and 6) and boy (2) are a joy; I do not know which of us wore the other out more. Our first project yesterday was decorating a stepping stone. This intriguing and not-very-intuitive craft involved mixing rock powder with water which hardened into concrete before we were ready. Hopefully the girls will not mind if their little tiles and marbles fall off. We had fun mixing it all up, dusting ourselves with the powder and exclaiming at the feeling of the thick pasty stuff turning rock-solid under our hands.

Before that was fully cleaned up (you know how it is) they were ready to help me make dinner. Once that was in the oven it seemed making chocolate chip cookies was the way to culminate the afternoon. We found (some) of the ingredients, the girls measured (some) sugar and flour into a bowl, their little brother kept asking to taste, and when we were half-way through the ingredients (serves me right for not being more organized in a strange kitchen) the realization struck: we do not have any chocolate chips.

No matter, my charges determined. Peanut butter cookies are just as good. Out came the jar, in went the spoon, and...there goes the mixture into giggling mouths instead of the bowl. I'm looking through a cookbook trying to figure out what changes to make when one is doing peanut butter instead of chocolate chip cookies. Unfortunately, they seem to call for half as much butter, less sugar, less flour...I was too busy to figure out why. Since the butter, sugar and flour were already in the bowl, it seemed guesswork would be best. The point was the fun anyway, not prize-winning cookies.

The end batter product did not look or taste like any peanut butter cookie dough I've ever made but...the girls were proud. The baked cookies had to be some of the ugliest I've ever had to claim as mine but...they taste good.

After dinner we went to the park to climb, run, roll the soccer ball to little brother, play in the sand and walk by the lake. On a whim I plucked a dandelion already gone to seed and showed it to my buddies. The little boy seemed entranced. Knowing he is great at imitating, I blew hard and then offered it to him. His little cheeks puffed out and his breath ruffled the gray fluff but none flew away. I blew again--he crowed in delight as seeds went soaring on the breeze. Time lost its hold. It was beautiful.

It took us a long time to get back across that meadow. My little man wanted to stop and pick every single dandelion and blow. So did his sisters. One called out, "I wish...I wish Natalie was my big sister!"

Though it can't be all the time, I am happy to play the role when I can. Is it even legal to have this much fun? And I guarantee you that I enjoy my volunteer "big sister" days far more than those I'm hired for. Anything one gets paid to do somehow becomes work. That must be why I enjoy writing only for non-profit ministries. Oops, I think I hear Jaden calling out. Best go make sure he's sleeping before I get some rest myself.

On the beauty of roses

December 2006: Wednesday afternoon a round glass vase holding peach and pink rosebuds appeared at my hotel. Mine are prettier than these, but alas I did not bring my camera. Per tradition I shall save the best blooms, dry them, and add them to the collection of bouquets I've received over the years.

February 2007: More roses--red this time--followed the ones I wrote about last year. Some from Valentine's Day hang drying; the pink tulips given to me earlier this month are starting to lose their blooms but I will care for the bulbs so that when spring comes I can plant them outside.

I think the first time I received roses from a young man other than a family member was the exquisite dozen long-stemmed red roses from a friend at Moody after I was in the hospital. My whole sister floor was jealous. Those proved better medicine than anything the doctors gave me! Valentine's Day brought another rose...my birthday another dozen...and so it goes.

I found several common meanings for the colors. Red stands of course for love, white for innocence and purity, yellow for joy and courage, pink and peach together stand for affection, admiration, and sympathy. Pink also stands for perfect happiness. I did not know that rosebuds stand for slightly different things. A red rosebud symbolizes purity and loveliness. A white rosebud represents girlhood. My other favorite flowers are daisies (innocence, loyal love, and purity), white lilies (virginity), and forget-me-nots (true love and memories).

But 'tis not the number nor the color which matter most to this maiden (though when a young man knows and uses the various colors of roses and their meanings it is extra special).

I think the reason can be summarized in one word: Beauty. Women delight in flowers primarily because of their intrinsic, objective beauty. Yes, they can provide some semi-practical uses but their primary delight is nothing more nor less than sheer beauty. Roses are a particular symbol of beauty which few can deny no matter where you live. True beauty is objective; it is not in the eye of the beholder but found in the object itself, whether it is recognized or not. A hierarchy of beauty exists and this also means that some types of beauty are more easily recognized while some require a trained eye or ear.

Symmetry of form and harmony are a part; simplicity is another. Can you explain why roses are beautiful? Does it matter if you cannot? Does that take any beauty away from the flower? Roses are beautiful--they simply are. The coarse or soft smoothness of the petals, the change from bud to bloom, the delicate scent...English words just do not do them justice. They are...beautiful.

So, what makes receiving roses, particularly from an admirer or lover especially wonderful? There are several aspects to this. First, while a man recognizes the beauty in a rose, normally he is not drawn to it in the same way a woman is. Men see the softness and delicacy of a rose and are reminded of a woman they love. A woman sees the same flower and enjoys it for itself. She wants to possess that same beauty. For a woman to be likened to a rose is a compliment--certainly this wouldn't hold true for a man.

Second, when a man gives a woman roses he is not only using his resources to show his love or affection or respect for her, he is doing so in a manner otherwise foreign to his nature. It is a true act of love which has no inherent pleasure for the man--save in seeing the woman's delight.

Third, when a man gives a woman roses he is communicating that she is worthy and beautiful. She is worthy of possessing beauty which mirrors her own--her loveliness is being acknowledged.

For me, the number, color, or method of delivery are not near as important as the fact that the man gave beauty to me. Whether a wildflower picked in a field or a bouquet delivered from a florist, the same message is communicated depending on the circumstances. God takes delight in beauty for its own sake. So should we. So the flowers will die (or be dried) within a few weeks. Their worth is no less. In fact, perhaps it is more.

From a gentler time...

Though I have not purchased anything from the Victorian Trading Co., I must confess to stealing peeks through the catalog's delicious pages whenever it arrives in our mailbox. Someday I hope to get my hands on this, from one of my favorite composers. Things like the delicately inscribed necklace or the skeleton key "to my heart" put me in the mood to be sentimental and romantic.

We have so many posts for Valentine's week that the blog will be quite busy. However, I do plan on sharing more about life since I sort of dropped off the face of the earth last year. The question is not if I should write but where to start?!

Glasses

I finally purchased new glasses yesterday.

I began wearing glasses in 4^th grade. I have been a committed contact wearer since 8^th grade, which was approximately 1994. Since then, I believe I could count on my fingers how many times I have worn my glasses. And I can count on my right thumb how many new pair of glasses I have purchased. One.

Before yesterday, I despised wearing my glasses. They were silver dollar pancake sized wire rimmed glasses that I purchased sometime in high school. I honestly don’t even remember when. I only know that I bought them because I was going out of the country and I was nervous to go with just a pair of contacts. I recall that when I picked them out, I chose a pair that looked exactly like my middle school glasses. Now, anyone else would have avoided making any style decision similar to a middle school style decision. But see, I didn’t really care what they looked like because I was not planning to wear them. I was right. I honestly don’t recall a single time when I had to wear my glasses in public during my high school career.

Fast forward to college where I begin working in elementary schools to prepare for my job as a teacher. And all of the sudden, I catch pink eye. Yes, the dreaded “goopy eyed, crusty morning, itch then wash your hands to itch again” disease. I go to the health center at my university and they give me a prescription and say, “Now, wear your glasses for 7-10 days.” My heart drops. My eyes fill up with tears. I can’t imagine having to wear those awful things. For some strange reason, I remember feeling like I looked like Teddy Roosevelt, though that’s impossible because I don’t have the ability to grow a quality mustache like his. I only wore the glasses for 2 days, then popped my sweet contacts right back in and prayed that my eyes wouldn’t fall out from negligent care.

As I’ve continued in my teaching career, I’ve caught conjunctivitis, as it is called by the professionals, at least once a school year. Pretty much, if a child brings it in the building, it magically finds its way to my eyes. And every time, without fail, I have to wear those jar-lid glasses. And every time, without fail, it makes me miserable.

Then, last week I caught a virus. For some crazy reason, probably because the Lord was ready to deal with this, the virus traveled from my chest, to my throat, up my nose, and into my eyes! Who knew your eyes could catch a virus? Well, they can and they do. And mine did. And out came the wire frisbees to wear on my face.

Three days ago I wouldn’t have been able to explain to you why my glasses made me so unhappy. Because, and you’ve probably already thought this, it’s really not that big of a deal. I mean, I am the same person with glasses or contacts. Right? Wrong.

I walked into my mother’s tea shop last week. It was my sister’s birthday and we were going to a nice restaurant for dinner. I had on the glasses. I was miserable and depressed. Mom is staring at me in a funny way and then she says, “Wow, when you wear those glasses, I feel like I’m looking at middle school Annie.”

Bingo. There it is. There is the problem. I feel like middle school Annie. I did not know I could have a light bulb moment and a heartbreaking moment at the exact same time. But that is what happened. It took all I had in me not to cry right then, but the moment did take my breath away.

Because you see, when I left my glasses behind in middle school and entered the wonderful world of contacts, I think it was the start of a slow and continual process of the Lord showing me that I am beautiful. I felt so ugly in middle school. I can’t even think of a word strong enough to express how ugly I thought I was- hideous, unsightly, repulsive. Those all work, yet none of them express the heartache attached to the ugliness. Sadly enough, you probably know what I mean.

High school was the beginning of the path that led me to freedom in Christ. Freedom to believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that I am seriously cute according to God’s standards and my own. For some reason, those glasses were a subconscious connection to my old heart, my old mindset, my old life. And to wear them was to walk in those old shoes again. To literally look at the world through those same eyes. Eyes that were filled with sorrow and despair and hurt. Every time I put those specs on, it was like I became that sad girl again.

A favorite scripture comes to mind.

2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come.

I knew the old had to go. I could no longer look through those eyes. The Lord and I had been through too much to keep slipping those glasses back on. Not because they were out of fashion, though they were, but because of what they represented. The old Annie. Middle school Annie who had no love for herself and no understanding of her worth to the Father.

Another scripture that I have posted in my car brings tears to my eyes even now as the Lord reminds me of it.

Deuteronomy 10:21: He is your praise; He is your God, who performed for you those great and awesome wonders you saw with your own eyes.

Hallelujah. My eyes have seen the wonders that the Lord has done for me!

So it was time to buy new glasses. First thing Friday morning, I purchased these. I adore them. They are me. They are Annie today- redeemed, loved, rescued, beautiful. They are trendy and sassy- two things which I desperately want to be but just can’t get there. But the victory is in the trying…hopefully. They represent all that I love about me and all I hope to become. The moment I tried them on at the store, I knew. These were the new ones to replace the old.

I have worn them in public without an ounce of shame for two full days now. I’ve gone to a basketball game, spoken at a retreat, and shopped at a bookstore. Never once did I question my worth or beauty. But I have caught myself staring at my own reflection. I can’t stop smiling. Above all else, I am just amazed that my heart can feel this free with such a simple change. God is all about change, all about our hearts, and all about helping us see ourselves the way He sees us. He doesn’t care how big or small the change is.

Psalm 118:23: The Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes.

I can’t believe what I’m about to say, but I’m not in a rush to get back into my contacts. I may wear these glasses for 7-10 days...at least.

- by Annie F. Downs

Not so Captivating

Last year I wrote one of the first reviews (that I could find) on John and Staci Eldredge's Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul. The piece is not particularly well-written or profound, but it expressed my deep concerns with the book in a way my limited understanding and time allowed.

The Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood published a piece back in November which gave its own boat-rocking opinions and insights. The bottom line?

"This method of drawing theological conclusions is flawed and therefore results in flawed views of both God and woman. We must guard against any view of God that is unworthy of Him. While an idea of God may subtly veer from truth and may appeal to our emotions, we must discern the flawed method that surely has profound ramifications. Not only does our view of God determine the priorities and trajectory of our lives, but our very purpose is to know Him. To know him, we must seek him where he has most clearly revealed himself."

Christianity Today stepped out last week with a piece of their own. It did my heart good to see it. Not because I agree with everything, but because such a wide-spread bestselling book with such obvious theological flaws should not be passed by without comment.

CT's conclusion on beauty is worth quoting at length (read the whole piece here)

I may not be an Eldredge kind of lady, but I know beauty when I see it. And the most regrettable failure of Captivating is its tame idea of beauty...Beauty draws blood to the heart and speeds up the pulse; sometimes it evokes repentance. I wish more Christians were comfortable with its pull. Too often, beauty raptures us so forcibly that we fear it will lead to temptation. So we avert our eyes. What if we turned our ecstasy into worship?

With provocative hyperbole, a character in Fyodor Dostoyevsky's novel The Idiot predicts that beauty will save the world. Commenting on this line, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn imagined that "if the too obvious, too straight branches of Truth and Good are crushed or amputated and cannot reach the light," then "perhaps the whimsical, unpredictable, unexpected branches of Beauty will make their way through and soar up to that very place and in this way perform the work of all three."

But it won't be the beauty described in Captivating. That beauty isn't wild enough; it's mere prettification, a tendency toward sentimental adornment. For some reason, the Eldredges restrict the source of beauty to women. Sorry, Rubens, Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Bach, and men with stunning looks—you don't make the list.

True beauty is precarious, unbound.

It cannot be confined to pre-approved tastes or to one gender. It is wild at heart. Like Christ. And like the complicated men and women who follow him (some of whom room alone when they travel).

That is the kind of beauty worth living for.

Blogs of Beauty

I just discovered that YLCF is a finalist in the Blogs of Beauty awards for Best Encourager for Singles.

The voting for winner of each category will be open through 8:00 p.m. EST, Monday, July 17, 2006. If you would like to view all of the entries and vote for your choices for each category, you can view them all here. Send votes to: awards@agracioushome.com I enjoyed looking thru all the entries and voting for some of my favorite blogs (i.e. the three I read regularly!) including Lanier's Books, Girl Talk, and Solo Femininity. Please do go and cheer them all on with your votes!

Thank you to all those who nominated us for Best Encourager, Best Encourager for Singles, and Best Group Blog. Considering I had no idea this contest even existed, it was a fun surprise to see our website listed among all the entries!

Holy Beauty

Lately I've been thinking quite a bit about beauty. Not the girl of that nick-name that I met in Thailand (though she did cross my mind)...but of beauty as defined by Webster: "the quality attributed to whatever pleases or satisfies the senses or mind, as by line, color, form, texture, proportion, rhythmic motion, tone, etc...".

This whole thought process on beauty began after my last post with the link to Lanier's blog...after posting, I decided to go read some more of her writings. They remind me quite a bit of L.M. Montgomery's writings (for those who don't know, she wrote the Anne of Green Gables series, etc.)...similar writing styles, both generate a satisfied sigh on the completion of reading, and both celebrate the beautiful. Of course, not at all in a pagan and worshipful way...but more with realizing that "beautiful" is just another word for "lovely" in Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."

I think that many Christians are mistaken in subconsciously thinking that beauty is "carnal" or "of the flesh". This view, though erroneous in my opinion, is rather justifiable when you see how much the idea of beauty has been perverted by our culture. But...I believe that true beauty...summed up nicely in the Philippians 4:8 quoted above...is NOT carnal and should be an integral part of a Christian's life (as is evidenced by the "...meditate on these things." part of the verse).

In the traveling I've done, I've seen many idols worshipped, both visible and unseen. And I have yet to see an idol that is in any way lovely...many are incredibly ugly! Countless times I've been so thankful to the Lord that He is beautiful...because He is, that's undeniable. There are several references in the Bible to "the beauty of the Lord"....but even if you didn't have that, you need only look at His creation.

Genesis 1 tells us of the creation of this world. Along with other details, it recounts that every so often, the Creator looked at His work and "saw that is was good" (Genesis 1:10, 12, 18, 21, 25, 31 ["very good"]). In the original Hebrew, that word "good" meant a multitude of things..."good, pleasant, beautiful, excellent, lovely, delightful". His creation was "good" and it was beautiful. Granted, we now live in a sinful world that has tainted the original loveliness of the Lord's creation, but many times we can catch an tiny yet exquisite glimpse of the our God's beauty through His creation. It's found in the delicacy of a lily-of-the-valley...in the awe-inspiring splendor of a sunset...in the tranquility of a hidden meadow covered with freshly-fallen snow. You can see it in the magnificene of true love....a baby's laugh...good food. Our Lord's many facets of beauty..." La vie est belle"...life IS beautiful.

But life is beautiful only because it's a reflection of our precious Lord Jesus. Yet, amazingly, it's only a pale reflection...oh so very pale...because "For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face" (1 Cor. 13:12a). But then face to face....what glorious splendoer, what awesome beauty. Words seem so paltry, even in thought...what is there to say? ....what is there to do? ...but fall on my face and worship...oh that glorious day.

- by Jessica Slagg

His Beauty

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough.
What do you want - an adorable pancreas?"
-Jean Kerr, The Snake Has All the Lines

I've written about frumpy fashion. I've discussed the rhyming of comfy and frumpy. But recently, discussions on ylcf.org have turned to beauty.

To be quite honest, I don't care what anyone else has to say about beauty. All that matters is that I am beautiful to my man. Because I am his beauty. He is my mirror. No one else matters.

Yet, while I look to my man to see my reflection, I am a reflection on him as well. I do not want to appear badly to others, and thus reflect negatively upon him, upon his choice for a bride. I try to dress tastefully, yet I know I will never please the majority. I try to act pleasantly, yet someone may always misunderstand. So my best crowd-pleaser is a cheerful smile. They may think Merritt's girl has a strange sense of style, but they can at least know I am happy in his love, happy to be his girl.

"I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful."

-Unknown

It has been said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," and nothing has ever shown me that so clearly as having a man love me. He thinks I am beautiful when I first get up in the morning. He thinks I am beautiful with no makeup. He even thinks I'm still beautiful at the end of a very long day. He doesn't love me because I am beautiful. I am beautiful to him because he loves me.

"I don't like standard beauty - there is no beauty without strangeness."
-Karl Lagerfeld

While anything is "in" these days, I want my closet to reflect not what's in, but what my man wants to see on me. He gives me lots of compliments on my cute summer skirts, but he's quite partial to my Levi's. He likes my hair short. And he loves me in pink and blue.

Two summers ago, I found a pink shirt at JC Penney. Merritt told me over and over and over again how much he liked it. Since then, I've kept my eye out for any more pink shirts that will actually go with my red hair. And of course, his favorite color is blue, the one color I never used to wear. "It goes with your blue eyes," he said. Since that discovery, I have kept my eye out for cute blue shirts at GoodWill. Now my family comments on how frequently I wear the color. But you know what? Merritt adores blue on me. And so I wear it as often as I can, just for him.

"Plainness has its peculiar temptations quite as much as beauty. "
-George Eliot

Every time Merritt comes upon me putting on makeup, he asks, "Why are you doing that? You don't need it!" It's really nice to be marrying a man who likes me in my natural, freckled, pale-skinned, pimpled state. But he wants me to feel good about myself, to feel beautiful even when I look in the mirror on the wall instead of the mirror of his eyes. So I have the freedom to wear makeup on the days I feel like "the barn needs painting," and skip it on the days I don't.

"As we grow old, the beauty steals inward."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

While I was out shopping on Monday, my cell phone rang. "This is your reminder to eat lunch," said the dearest voice in the world. I am thankful that my man wants me to be beautifully healthy, not perfectly skinny. He is always reminding me to eat, but he never thinks I have enough fat on my bones. I have an idea that with years, this will change. But I don't ever want to be too heavy to sit on his lap.

"Beauty is indeed a good gift of God;
but that the good may not think it a great good,
God dispenses it even to the wicked."
-Saint Augustine

Beauty cannot be defined, for beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty cannot be bought, for beauty is not something we put on. Beauty cannot be earned, for beauty is not a reward. Beauty can only be appreciated. And, I think, love is beauty's most ardent admirer.

For to him, and him only, am I truly, completely beautiful. Because love is blind.

Thus, even when I'm old, grey, wrinkled, and pudgy, I will still look into the mirror of his eyes and see the adoration reflected there and know that I am, forever and for always, his beauty.

"I hope you have lost your good looks, for while they last any fool can adore you, and the adoration of fools is bad for the soul. No, give me a ruined complexion and a lost figure and sixteen chins on a farmyard of crow's feet and an obvious wig. Then you shall see me coming out strong."
-George Bernard Shaw, to Mrs. Patrick Campbell

Perfect Strength, Perfect Beauty

...an excerpt of the best discussion and comments with thoughts from Natalie

The post that began it all was two excerpts Gretchen drew from other sources: Manliness and Femininity. It's premise:

True manliness is perfect strength under perfect control.

Sarah asked: "[Is] being a woman, then, 'perfect beauty under perfect control'? I think it might be. Just as a man's strength truly comes from his courageous, persevering heart, so a woman's beauty stems from her peaceful, trusting heart. What do you think?"

Another reader commented: "If men were simply strong, and women simply soft, I think we might find ourselves in a very unbalanced society. Think of the strong and courageous women in the Bible. I think they were much more concerned about that than being beautiful. Consider the men who chose a soft response, rather than showing off strength. I think those examples are truly powerful."

This is of course true, as Sarah responded:

There are a lot more complications wrapped up in my statement than are readily obvious on the surface. For one thing, men and women image God together as a complement and individually. Women have courage - there's no doubt about that. Men have their own sort of beauty too. And there we see the qualification that comes necessary. I couldn't just say, "Men have beauty!" They have their own sort. We women have our own sort of courage.

I think that both of these emotions should be inspired by the other's heart. A man's perfect strength, if it exists, inspires me (a naturally strong leader) to follow. A woman's perfect beauty will inspire a man to love. A respected man will grow stronger, and a loved woman more beautiful.

One comment that I really appreciated and have seen demonstrated beautifully lately is from Kelci:

A Godly man will recognize that she is able to do it, but will also have the servant’s heart, strength, and courage to do it for her. It is an attitude of biblical manliness that says, “Christ instructed us men to serve the ladies as Christ served His bride (the church).” This mindset says, “Because I am a man and I recognize my calling of being a Servant-leader let me have the privilege to serve you.” This is why your statement Sarah of “A man's perfect strength, if it exists, inspires me (a naturally strong leader) to follow” is true! It is easier to follow a young man’s leadership, regardless of his age, when he is being a servant-leader as Christ was.

A godly, humble, yet strong servant-leader is a rare find these days. Certainly allowing any gentleman to open a door or otherwise treat you with the respect and honor due a lady is a good thing; however I would cautiously say that our primary focus for being an example to men and allowing them to serve us would be to family members, not "guy friends."

As another young lady said, "A few years ago I realized I should be helping my brothers become gentlemen. So, I have been making my brothers open the car door, store doors, etc. But sometimes I do forget. While out with my bro one day recently, I pushed the store door open and marched out. My brother said, "Uh, you didn't wait, so-and-so stands there and waits for me." At first I was rather upset, but after thinking about it (all afternoon) I decided he wanted to take care of me, he wasn’t trying to put me down. In order for men to be men, we have to be women!"

Kelci brought up some more thoughts on friendships with guys: "They [young ladies] have either never been allowed or encouraged to be friends with guys in a godly way, (guys are not just for relationships) or have been hurt in friendships with guys, or just simply and do not know how to be friends with guys."

This is not an issue young women can decide for themselves independently of their family and church community. Another post that I thought tied in well with this topic was Gretchen's excerpt on Encouraging Boys to Manhood. If you believe they can be chivalrous gentlemen and loving friends, they will try to live up to your unspoken standard.

If we can accomplish this, if we can have this influence on our families and other men (in the proper context), we have succeeded in a great thing. May I say that being a woman who inspires a man to be better than he is now, to love unselfishly, to live courageously, to die with honor--being such a woman is worth more than any academic credentials, financial achievements, or lengthy resumes.

Bram commented: "As a guy, I can attest that you women have a great influence on our lives -- spiritual, emotional, and mental. The influence is almost scary in its power. You can lead a man closer to God or tear him away. Realize that power and use it to God's glory. Whether we embrace it or not, the responsibility and potential remains. The question is, how will we make use of this gift and task given by God?"

Next, Lanier gave us a simply fabulous piece on Femininity that should be required reading! Doesn't this truth resonate deep inside every young lady? "There are no knights in shining armor to rescue and defend. There are no beautiful princesses who live happily ever after with their loving prince. Not in the Real World."

I certainly bought into this lie for a while in college. Praise the Lord for His mercy and grace in proving me wrong! There are a few valiant warriors left in this world who will fight for their sisters, wives, mothers, and daughters. How tempting it is for us to withdraw from friendships because we've been hurt and disappointed. Yet we are commanded to function as part of the Body of Christ irregardless of how we feel or what we have experienced.

"In Christ and in His relationship with His Bride the Church we see the ideal of masculinity and femininity. He nurtures and protects. She reverences and adores. He stoops to serve her. She is raised to a position of honor by her acceptance of his leadership. Is there anything more beautiful—or more romantic?"

This is so so beautiful! I know that I, as a woman, most crave to be cherished and protected. Often our bids for superiority and control are frantic gropings for security are they not?

Sarah then posed the question: Is that love, then? To be so concerned with the other's well-being that one forgets oneself? There is no need to exert one's will if all one's desires are fully met. Is that what we have been talking about all along with submission and marriage?

Bethany commented with another perspective: "I think that gody femininity comes in different forms for everyone but that it is something that is important, and something that most of the time does not just appear naturally in a life. I think rather than an outward appearance, which will be different for all people, godly womanhood is a reflection of the inner life coming under Christ's submission."

Laura Leigh added into a discussion on how our focus can be on serving others yet maintaining our own inner reserves: "When I am too busy-whether serving God or just clutting my life with activities-I tend to become discouraged, and lose my focus on the Lord. I need time to recharge, take a few moments alone with Him, and maybe just enjoy the beauty of God's creation, or read a book, or relax with music or a cup of tea. I don't want to be self-centered, but I also think that it is important to have a balance in this area of my life. Without balance, everything, perhaps even service, can become a hindrance to me."

Katie added a perspective we must remember to maintain balance in all of this:

In our women's Bible study at church, we are studying "Spiritual Mothering" by Susan Hunt. One thing that she says applies well to this discussion of spirituality and femininity: "When the Holy Spirit produces faith in a women, she becomes a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). A dramatic result of her newness is her even greater potential for the development of this female capacity. The Christian woman not only has a new Pattern, she has a new Power."

Through Christ, we are given the power to serve others with our femininity. That is why Christ says that we must be "Mary"s before "Martha"s--if we don't sit at His feet first, then we will not have to power to serve others.

As women, we are created and called to fill a need in this world. A life lived for the glory of Christ is inherently risky, yet once you've experienced it, there is no going back to the old ways. Nothing else will satisfy.

Thank you for all your insights and thoughts, my friends. As we move on to other discussions and new lessons, may our words be seasoned with grace and our hearts eager to serve one another in love.

The origin and purpose of beauty

Seeing the direction some of the discussion has taken on beauty, I wanted to recommend the series GirlTalk blog is doing on modesty right now. You can read all 5 parts here and see more as they are posted. This excerpt is a great point:

The essence of our desire to beautify comes from God...This taste [for beauty], however in many cases it may be altogether corrupted in its object, wrong in its principle, or excessive in its degree, is in its own nature an imitation of the workmanship of God, who, “by his Spirit has garnished the heavens,” and covered the earth with beauty. - Fashion and Following the Savior, Part Four

Watch for Gretchen's post on beauty at the end of the week, and my article on friendship and romance next week!

Thoughts on Manliness vs. Femininity